“don’t think. it complicates things. just feel, and if it feels like home, then follow its path.”
The first time I returned to Korea since being adopted was the summer of 2014. I was accompanied by my parents, my brother, his girlfriend, and one of my friends (also adopted). I had the amazing opportunity to meet not only my foster family, but unexpectedly, my birth mother as well. The remainder of the trip was focused around a homeland tour, and of course, the trip came to an end sooner than I would have liked. Saying goodbye to my birth family was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. Although I have been in contact with my birth mother almost every day since then, I have yet to return–until now.
This summer I might have another chance to travel to Korea. The majority of the trip will be focused on a language program, but the purpose of going mainly is to rediscover myself. Like most adoptees, I struggle deeply with my identity. Do I belong here or there? What am I? Who am I? This summer, I plan on immersing myself in the culture and connecting with my heritage. Although I feel guilty towards my family here in the states, as if I’m betraying them, this is something I feel I must do for the sake of my sanity. I hope to find answers, but mostly peace and acceptance within myself. It will be a tough journey, but one I will regret if I don’t take advantage of the opportunity. There are many things in life that I am unsure of, but this is not one of them. I am following my path that will hopefully lead to myself.